Pain

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Pain is interesting. Realizing that, is useful. Becomes a way to deal with it. A test of one’s powers of disassociation, among other things. I’ve not been taking this seriously enough today and it’s taking over. Radiating from my foot up my leg. As a poet… one would like to find words. Words adequate to the provocation.

Only marginally helpful to remind myself, that it won’t last. It’s now, that’s the problem, not the future. It could be worse. It can always be worse… and then you’re dead, and it doesn’t hurt anymore.

Imagine having gout at Abu Ghreb, or Guantanamo? So simple… all they’d have to do is step on your foot. But then, they can do that by breaking a bone… and twisting your arm. Hey, cops do that all the time in America.

I think of those implements of torture in the dungeons of the Inquisition. I feel this, feel in my imagination… and wonder what my breaking point would be.
There’s so much to think about, when our bodies are in pain. So much to think about.

Then you wonder, what.. .how, do you you express it… or repress it? Yell out when you step wrong.. or grit your teeth in silence?

What are the protocols of pain? Expression of pain? Is there a right way? I’ve been in pain with people I loved, who cared for me… and it was overwhelming… to them.

Unless you’ve experience significant, prolonged pain, you’re not likely to get it. Is that person over-reacting? Drama queen? Using it to get sympathy? Attention? But if you keep silent–how will anyone know how much you need their help?

That applies, of course–to more than physical pain. Think: depression. PTS. The thing about pain that makes it hardest to deal with–is that is cuts you off. You no longer live in same world–the world of the comfortable. You become a kind of alien.

Once you recover (hoping that you do), if it doesn’t change your life, change how you deal with people cut off by their pain… by whatever kinds of shit.. if you can’t take a deep breath… and be there. Be there for them…In what way that you can. There’s something wrong with you. Something more deadly than pain.

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